And the count down begins......

With David's 4th deployment coming very soon, I thought I would go ahead and get started on my daily thought process that takes place during a deployment for me.

So this is our 4th deployment together, yes 4!! His first deployment was the worst one by far. That was back in 2002-2003 and there wasn't alot of communication other than letters. I missed his voice, his smell, and his touch! Letters weren't enough but they made the time fly by since I could read them over and over. David's second deployment, we added a baby girl into the mix. That was hard on both of us, him leaving and me being a new mom by myself. Thankfully I had the help of family to get me thru all of it. The next deployment, we added yet anther baby girl into it. Only this time, she was only 3 months old when Daddy left. That deployment was the easiest for me, when knowing what to expect and how to cope and deal with things that came up. I still had times where I wanted to cry and thought that I couldn't do it anymore, but you know what....I do it. And everything turned out just fine.

So now here we are starting to get ready for the 4th time of major separation again. We have two girls, who both are old enough and fully understand what is about to happen to our little family. It worries me that they will resent Daddy for leaving for such a long time or even worse that they wont even care. Since I've grown used to him leaving and me being here by myself with the kids, I don't show emotion when it comes to deployment or separation they way most would. I put on the brave face and hide everything until I'm alone. What if the girls pick up on that indifference that helps me make it thru another day of losing my husband for a year and take it as Mommy doesn't care so it's ok for me not to.

With so many things coming up in the next couple of weeks, my mind is going to be racing. As always to continuous: Will he be ok? Will he make it back home? How are the girls going to handle this? How am I going to handle this? What's in store my family? When will this end? When will he be able to be home with us for more than 2 years at a time? When will he stop missing birthdays/holidays/school events etc because of his service to our country?

Even with all these questions and more going thru my mind....I am still one of the biggest military supporters you will find. I fully support David in any decision he makes and will stand beside him at all times. Please don't take my feelings of missing him or the worry about my children in a way that means I wish he didn't serve in the military. What David and every other military member does along with their families and their struggles, inspire me to face another day of this life and make the most of it. The military has so much to offer, I'm grateful that we a part of this life so we can take advantage of it; seeing the world, resources at our finger tips when needed, support system in place that understands what you going thru, medical, housing,...list goes on and on!

In the end, when I look at everything....Me being without my husband for a short while is well worth it compared to everything that is given to us in return. He will be missed dearly but I know in my heart we will be together again.

nieghbors!!

Ok so someone asked if I could blog a little bit more....Here it is.  I just got home from my trip back home to Arkansas ( which lasted much longer then I had hoped) only to find my back yard a wreck!! My fence was torn apart, I'm going to blame it on the strong winds instead of making myself more upset.  My patio table and chairs were laying on the ground, cushions beside them.  My storage closet door standing wide open, with toys missing.  OK so I know I was gone for awhile, but seriously people why would you take a kid's toy!!! So I was pissed by now and drove my butt to housing to report what had happened.  They were no help, only saying I needed to call the MPs and they would put a comment in my file about the complaint.   So I drive back to my house ready to call the MPs once I got there, as I was pulling I saw it ...out of the corner of my eye, my daughter tricycle sitting on my neighbors back patio.  So I stop the truck there in the middle of the road, get out and as I'm walking towards their yard I just say, "I need my tricycle back" The lady just looked me and said ok.  The oldest daughter piped up and said Damien took it.  Ok Damien is about a year and half.  And they let him walk around in the parking lot unattended, with nothing on but his diaper.  He is never with an adult....or sibbling for that fact.  I dont care who took it...the point is they took it.  They went into my storage closet and took our belongings.  So after I got it  ( by the way..it was broken), I decided not to call the MPs....her husband is an MP and I am sure the report would some how disappear!! SO it wasnt worth it.  However the next time this happens....because it will (I know this cause this is not the first time this has happened...I'll go into later.).  I will call the MPs and point them directly to their door.   And will continue doing this until something is done about it.  I know I maybe making enemies with my neighbors but I dont care.  They have no respect for other people things so why should care how I offend them.

Ok...the first incident:

Not long after they moved in, me and David and the girls went out for the night.  When we came back Alexis wanted to go outside and play.  So we did. ONly to find her tricycle and a few others were missing!!  So I looked all around thinking they were just out of site...it was dark after all.  Well they werent there.  So I go next door and knock on thier door, remembering I saw them playing with them earlier ( which I didnt mind...all the kids were playing together).  I just wanted to see if they had seen the toys.  Well to my surprise they answered and when I asked she was like hang on let me go look.  So as I'm standing outside their door, I hear doors opening and shutting.  Then like something dragged across the wall.  here she came holding all of the missing toys.   They were hidden in a closet.  All she said was, I saw these in there when I was cleaning and I didnt know who they belonged to.  Seriously!!! you let them keep toys that you knew did not belong to them!!! So no wonder this kids keep taking stuff.  Their parents have no clue how to show them how to respect other people property.  The really sad thing is the husband is an MP!!! You would think there would be some of punishment there....Nope.  I didnt even get I'm sorry either time!!! 

So lets hope I get out of this housing community and on to another one....a better one...where people dont steal kid's toys!!!

So he finally left for Iraq

My husband is now in Kuwait.  Yeah it sucks but he will be back home in one short year.   Our oldest daughter took him leaving kinda hard.  She still doesnt understand the whole thing yet....she's only 3.  All she knew is she wanted to go with him.  Its only been 3 days since he left our sight and I miss him like crazy already.  Life as a single parent seems to be kinda the same as it is with two parents (so far), just that daddy doesnt come home until everyone is asleep and leaves before we get up.  At least thats what I'm gonna let myself believe.  It will help me get thru this deployment.  ........ Speaking of my husband I just a message from him on mySpace.  That is the best feeling ever!! Just knowing that someone out there that you care so much about is actually thinking about you to.  I love it!!! And when he calls feels even better!!! Just the to hear his voice, even if it is kinda crackly or static filled.  I could be in a dead sleep and when that phone rings I will jump out of bed and be in the best mood ever.  But thats what Army wives live for!! We check our phones, emails, messengers, mySpace, whatever every five minutes!!! 

Just starting!

Ok so I'm just starting out! Bare with me.  This is my first blog so I'm still getting used to this.